Thursday, 26 March 2009

edward hopper.

night hawks.
"i wonder what they're thinking about.."
"probably themselves."
"i don't know. maybe someone else. something else."

i forgot how obsessive having a new blog is harhar. nobody's going to read this so it's for my own piece of mind really. or.. the opposite. i've been sitting here for the past.. two hours or so and just been really working myself up into a panic. i hate that i do this but i can't help it. i'm now panicking like hale and i can't really breathe properly and everything is making me feel worse. booo. every time i try to do something to calm me down i realise i'm not working and then start to panic even more. which is fucking stupid because writing this isn't doing work either and urgh. i feel so tired but i don't want to sleep. i don't think i would sleep anyway even if i tried so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i love how blogs really bring out the worst feelings in you harhar! okay so i'm going to sit here until college tomorrow and stew. i might try and wake up at 5/6am just to see if i can. peace.

p.s i will not always be this emo.
p.p.s if you believe that you'll believe anything.
p.p.s i am really optimistic usually.
p.p.p.s haha told you so.
p.p.p.p.s i swear to fucking god, blogspot picture uploader makes me want to die.

send me on my way.

I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run
You know what they say about the young
Well pick me up with golden hands
Oh may see you, Oh may tell you to run
You know what they say about the young

aw i love this song so much man. it's like happiness PERSONIFIED. holla to my childhood film Matilda. yeahh. okay so i totally flopped and made a blog here. i mean, i already have one like but i figured i needed a ~medium~ to comment on you guyseses blog so here we are! i'll use this one to rant about stuff you're allowed to see and my livejournal to rant about you and you won't know about it. :D
jokes. jokes. .. sort of. but yeah hi guys i hope you're all well or whatever. everyone seems down lately but i guess that's just the way it goes. .. to be fair before this song came on my shuffle i was pretty ~~depressed~~ too. it's the little things that cheer you up. my whole living situation (both in portsmouth and on the iow) are making me want to claw myself into ribbons but i'm trying to look past it. .. and then there's the exams JKSDHGKSDHkjhakhKGHSKDghskghsdkJHKG. aaaa. life is scary innit.

so yeah this was pretty useless. YOU KNOW WHAT'S BOTHERING ME THOUGH. i don't like how i don't seem to have a personality or not one that i like or anything. i just looked at some blog i posted on myspace 2 years ago and i'm feeling the same way. i think it's having a new group of friends or whatever. fucks me up. i sort of feel like i can't totally CONNECT or something, y'know? i hate being the new person and trying to break in. hm hm hm.

OKAY this was a lot of bollocks so i'll love you and leave you.

p.s fuck adam. i've had the Toxic/Faint remix in my head for the past 3 days.

p.p.s and because he is a needy mcgee; i have met a lovely boy that i likelikelike lotslotslots and we are going to jump on the trampoline and eat fajitas and go for walks this weekend. but that is much too happy a sentiment to put on this blog.

Well I would like to hold my little, hand
I will run I will. I will cry I will.
I would like to hold my little, hand.
I will run I will. I will cry.